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Here’s the deal – Joe Biden can’t give you healthcare, but he can pal around with all your favorite animal friends.
2020’s a hellscape. Fascism’s on the rise, class disparity’s tearing us apart, and there are literal prison camps on U.S. soil. But don’t worry – noted “political activist” Greg Miller is here to save us all with a bold new plan: bringing Joe Biden’s campaign to Animal Crossing: New Horizons.
In an a defiant act of radical activism, Miller has concocted the “Biden Island” – a New Horizons island tailored exclusively to Joe Biden. This island comes with the official seal of approval from Biden’s campaign, which means it’ll likely have enough prison cells to round up “violent” villagers and “put them away for a long time.”
We’ve partnered with @JoeBiden’s campaign to be the first to show off the official Biden Island in #AnimalCrossingNewHorizons, and we’re doing it live Friday morning on https://t.co/tYCVQTyye0!#BidenHarris2020 #TomorrowIs16not15lol pic.twitter.com/Ew3iCjGTHy
We’re unsure as to what Miller, friend only to good-faith political actors, will do during tomorrow’s Twitch stream – or what the island even looks like. But we’re confident that it’ll be in touch with today’s youth, and definitely not another “Pokemon GO to the polls” moment for the universally beloved candidate.
It’s worth noting that this isn’t the first time Biden has come to Animal Crossing – his campaign put signs in the game last month. But that was small potatoes compared to this. Think of the opportunities! We’re really hopeful to see some adorable fracking facilities, or some bespoke courthouses to prosecute anarchist villagers.
Whatever the case may be, we’re interested to see what a whole island built around Biden’s ethos looks like, and feel confident that Miller is definitely the best person to raise awareness for anything that isn’t selling PlayStations.
Editor’s Note: Here’s the deal – voting for Biden is a probably good idea because it’s the least bad option, and he’s not as openly fascist. Doesn’t mean we have to like it, though!
Bella Blondeau is a lovable miscreant with a heart of gold… or so she says.
She likes long walks in dingy arcades, loves horror good and bad, and has a passion for anime girls of any and all varieties. Her favorite game is Nier: Automata, because she loves both robots and being sad.
Animal Crossing, Joe Biden
World news – US – Joe Biden Takes Aim At Gamers (And Their Knees) In Animal Crossing Promotion